Friday, February 15, 2008

7th Weigh In

Went for my 7th weigh in last night, which really means that I have been on WW for 6 weeks now. I lost another .6 of a kg. Which is a healthy amount to lose, but in my heart it doesn't feel like it's enough. So now my weightloss total is 5.7kg. Which brings me down to 131.7kgs. I'm getting down slowly but surely. I just need to be a little stricter on myself and stop picking at the kids left overs and things like that... This weeks challenge is to drink more water and slow up on the pepsi max. It may be a points total of 0, but apparently the caffene can slow down the metabolism.. Can't have that happening.

Anyway, Kirsten did my nails and gave me a spray tan, and I'm loving it.. Makes me feel nice. I am anxious to go out and buy myself something nice to wear, but I am not going to untill I have lost another 4.3kgs.. Then, I can reward myself for a loss of 10kg by wearing something nice. However I am discovering that I am fitting into alot more clothes that have been hidden in the depths of my wardrobe since the last time I could wear them, so thats a bonus.. for now..


Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentines Day

Got my weigh in tonight, and once again, I dont think I will have gone too good. I guess I will just have to wait and see. As long sa I have not put any on, I guess is the most important thing.
Well as today is Valentines Day, I got a lovely card from Hubby and he has taken the day off work. Which is lovely. Still not sure what we're going to do though because I have my weigh in at 6pm, but I might not stay for the meeting. However I have noticed that in the last 2 weeks that I haven't stayed for the meetings, that I haven't been as motivated.. I really should make the time to stay.
Having only lost 5kgs, I have started noticing the changes in the shape of my body. And not all them are good. My belly is sagging more, and my saddle bags are drooping a little.. I guess this means it's time to move a bit more.. And even though the last 3 days I have spent walking around North Lakes and Kippa Ring shopping centres, it is certainly not enough..
One thing though I notice when I'm looking for clothes, is that I no longer want the frumpy baggy tops, I know I have a long way to go as far as losing the weight goes, but I want to accentuate the smaller parts and make the best of what I do have for the moment.. For examly, wearing a more fitted low cut top instead of a babydoll top that drops from the bust..
Ok, I'm starting to rave on now... I'll write more tomorrow to update my weight.


Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wednesdays Update

Todays is Wednesday 13th Feb, the day before Valentines day.. And hopefully it will be the last one that I spend being overweight.. Hopefully next year I can suprise hubby by wearing something nice..
Still don't know what to get him though, and as he asked me if I wanted us to go out for V Day, it turns out that we cant unless we take the kids... Where's the romance in that???
Who knows, hopefully we can make up for that another time...

Nene oxox

Sunday, February 10, 2008


These are some digital imaged virtual models that are like a before and after of where I am , and how I want to be...
The first one weighs 132kg and the slimmer one weighs 75kgs.. I'll get there...

Saturday, February 9, 2008

More To Say

Week ends are always hard, when it comes to food, and what to eat.. It is actually becoming quite expensive to be dealing out different meals to each person. We went out this morning, and i was finding it hard to find something to wear when I was getting ready. My body shape has slightly changed and things that I wore all the time, are now looking not so good anymore. Who knows if they even looked any good before, but at least they covered my lumps and bumps.
Even though I have always had the overhang on my belly, it hasn't been noticed as much because the level above it under my boobs stuck out more that it, but now that it doesn't the overhang looks just dreadfull.
If my body has changed this much after losing just 5.1kg, what is it gonna be like after another 5 or even 10, 20,30kgs. I guess I will just deal with that as it happens. It can't look any worse than I already do.

Ok, that all for now...


Bad Memories

The other night whilst laying in bed, I couldn't get to sleep and got to thinking about my past, and how could I get this freakin fat??? When I was pregnant with my son back in "1999-2000", I weighed 99kgs. Then I turn around a few years later and have put on 40 kgs.. I mean, I know it didn't happen overnight, but it just creaps on...
One of my earliest memories of my weight problems was back in pre-school. We were all having a slip and slide day and water play, and everyone was getting in or out of their togs, but I headed for the bathrooms and went right into the corner cubical to get dressed, because the toilet cubicles didn't have doors, it seemed the corner one was the most discreet. I was shy about my body back then... at 5 years old.
But by far, my worst school memory of a weight problem was when in grade 6 (11 years old) Everyone in the class had to weight themself and at the end, the teacher read out everyones weight ranging from the lightest to the heaviest. I remeber the whole class laughing when he said "Jennene is the heaviest at 61kgs"... I remember excusing myself from the class a little while after, saying that I had to go to the toilet, but just went to sit outside, I never wanted to go back in there again...
Oh, how I would love to say I weigh 61kgs now...
But even now when I look back at my old school photos, I realise that I wasn't a whole lot bigger than my other classmates, well not compared to the overweight children that I see of today..But I truely felt like I was huge compared to them..
Another time I had a sleep over at a friends house, I would have been in about grade 5 at the time, and this friend of mine had 2 older teenage brothers, I remember when my friend went in for her shower, her brothers arrived home, and came to stand at her bedroom door, and they just kept laughing at me. I wished the bed that I was sitting on would just swallow me up.

But now I look back at that and think, "shit happens"... I may be fat, but they will always be ugly, I can change my weight..

Ok, enough of the negative stuff, I'll begin a new subject now.


Friday, February 8, 2008

Weigh in Verdict

Well, as I said, I went for my weigh in lastnight, and just as I thought, I hadn't done as good this week as I have in previous weeks. I had a loss of .5kg. Which now makes my grand total of a total loss of 5.1kg. And plenty more to shed...
So this week is a new week, and I'm going to behave.. I had my egg white omlette with onion and capsicum for breakfast with a cup of tea, and for lunch I had a footlong salad sub from subway. I was kind of releived that Shani didn't want to have chinese today, as I know that wouldn't have been a good start to my week... I would have caved and got more than vegetables.. How could I not? But no.. no.. no.., I gotta be good..
Oh and as for gut sucker undies, I found some in a bigger size..;. Good old Undercover Wear...Kirsten is having a UCW party next sunday so I might order a pair, in fact, I really need to order at least 7 pairs, so I can have one for each day of the week... ha ha..
Will just get what I can afford right now.. Who knows, I might even need a smaller size soon enough..
Well thats all from me for now, might write some more later...Actually I will coz I was laying in bed lastnight, thinking of a few things from way back in school.. All to do with weight problems of course, but that, I will save for my next post...
Bye for now..

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Another pic of me, most that I have right now are head shots, because I never want my body to be in the pics, but I will slowly start adding them as I lose the flab...This pic was taken in August 07'

Probably at about 135kgs

Weigh in #6 Tonight..

I had a great day out with Kirsten today, went shopping at North Lakes. I did pretty well, had a cup of tea for breakfast, and then much to my fear, I tried my very first sushi roll, at Kirstens persistance. It turned out to be ok.. I probably wouldn't go out of my way to buy one, but if it was there, I'd eat it...
Anyway, I ended up going to Sizzler for lunch again, and behaved quite well. I didnt over indulge.
I have my weigh in tonight, and to be honest, I dont know how I went this week, as far as weight loss.. I usually really feel the difference, but this week, I dont feel but different to last week. I guess that could be the guilt of having indian twice in a week, and also sizzler twice in the same week. At least if I have not lost any weight this week, I will know exactly why..
I know I would probably lose more if I would just get off my ass and go for a walk each day. But... that is yet to happen, although the first time I did weight watchers, I walked everyday, sometimes even twice a day.. I keep telling myself to get back into it, and I know I will..But when I am good and ready, am still working on getting some kind of fitness level back.. The one thing I do, do however, is 10 sit ups each night before bed, and although it may not seem like much, believe me... it feels like 100 to me at the end of it.. You try sitting up without assistance with a 50kg roll of fat strapped to your gut and tell me how easy it is...
I have always been kind of shy to let anyone know my actual weight, and then today I found myself telling Shannon and her mum what I weigh, and the thing is, I am no longer embarrassed of them knowing, because I am actually doing something about it and am slowly shrinking... Before long I hope to be telling them that I weight 100kg instead of 132kg... and to alot of skinny people, who would be thinking.."why would someone be proud to say they weigh 100kg?" Well if they were my size they would, and to me it will be an accomplishment..
I just want to walk into a shop and buy something because I like it, not just because it is the only damn thing in the shop that will fit me..
I remember, coming back from Thailand, hubby and the kids had so many nice designer (fakes) clothes to wear when we would go out, and I would feel like the biggest daggy frump against them.
Oh and I have a rant....
WHY THE HELL DO THEY MAKE GUT BUSTER UNDIES IN A SIZE 12 AND NOT A SIZE 22??????????? where is the sense in that????
I went looking for gut buster / control breifs today in Target, as in the little weight I have lost, my tummy is getting even saggier, and could not find a pair to fit.. Who needs to suck their stomach in? A size 12 or a size 22?
Anyway, have said enough for today, will write more tomorrow and update what I have either lost of gained.


Wednesday, February 6, 2008


This is the second blog I have started, and I entend to keep this one up.. I stopped with the first one because I didn't want people reading my inner most thoughts, and struggles.
I am currently into my 5th week of Weight Watchers, and have lost 4.6kg to date. So I guess I'm averageing a loss of about 1.1 kg per week. Which is all good and well, but for me, it isn't happenening fast enough...
I have had enough of having nothing to wear, wearing ugly underwear, ugly clothes.
I know that in order to take it off and keep it off, I need to lose it all slow and steady, so I guess I have no choice but to be patient.
Weight watchers is quite an easy eating plan, I guess it's just laziness if I dont stick to it, because there is really nothing that I can't have, but just more of a moderation thing...
I originally started weight watchers in October 2006 weighing in at a huge 142kgs and lost 12kgs in 10 weeks, however from there (130kgs), I went over to Ghana and came back and spent the next 10 months eating everything and anything that I wanted. Which took me back up to 137kgs. So the New Year spurred me on to begin again, and this time I am finding it a bit easier, I guess because I have done it before, but also I had a taste of weightloss and know how good it felt to get down in weight, so I am going to go the whole hog this time...
So, as of my last weigh in (31/01/08) I am down to 132.8kg... So in just 5 weeks, I have almost lost what it took 10 months to get back on..
Well, I am going to end for now, and will write some more tomorrow...
The pic above is me in November 2006 at 140kg